How to Compare Your Children

Ever since I found out I was pregnant with Carter, I promised myself I would never compare my two children. Why? Well, because my sister and I were constantly compared as kids and I hated it… She was the triguena and I was the blanquita. I was the studious one and she was lazy. I never wanted her to feel bad about who or how she was, although she sometimes showed otherwise with me, but that was NOT me! I didn’t want to be compared, nor did I like it.

 With my boys I don’t compare them to one another but I can’t help but to observe and react to how different they are, and that’s okay. I have had to adjust to having kids who are very different from one another in the same way I adjust to my kids in the classroom. Did I think they were going to be identical… NO, of course not. But they are so different that it takes tons of patience and a whole lot of learning. Please tell me I’m not alone… Does this happen to you too?

I have Carter (CC) who is incredibly inquisitive and hits me with 20 questions a minute sometimes. He asks me questions that baffle (and befuddle) me and I think back, Victorio (Tado) NEVER asked me these questions. “Where is this coming from?” Just the other day, we got into a discussion about my deceased dad. He wanted to know so much and I wanted to tell him what was age appropriate for him. Victorio hardly asks questions about topics like this and he’s extremely sensitive. Sometimes I think it has to do with his meds, but when I think back, he’s always been overly sensitive since the moment he arrived into this world. Victorio couldn’t care less if you’re coming or going but Carter wants to know which road you’re taking and how long it will take you to get there.

Carter is a daredevil and he won’t think twice about something. Victorio on the other hand will analyze and over analyze a situation. What’s more, I love these qualities in both of them. They are so different but they allow me to see the endless possibilities of a situation. They both give me the strength and the courage to see both of their views on things. I don’t compare them or think that one way is better than the other, but I am able to have a clearer view of where they are both coming from when I acknowledge that they are very different children with needs that couldn’t be further from one another sometimes.

Despite their differences, they are loving, nurturing and empathetic boys. They BOTH would give you the shirt off their back. They love and defend one another and yet will fight tooth and nail for what they want and believe in. Then again, they might not be that different…they actually sound a lot like ME!!!