I remember when I dated my husband at the tender age of eighteen I would think about marriage and all it entails. I knew what I wanted from my marriage and it did not consist of infidelity, lies, me acting like his mother, and surely not divorce. We weren’t getting married “just because”, if we were going to take that leap it had to mean something to both of us. It had to mean enough if we ran into trouble we could talk it out-that is where communication comes in.
All marriages have ups and downs but we have to learn how to deal with them and work and grow through them. We have to know that although things get difficult, and we have a misunderstanding, it doesn’t mean that we hate one another and we call it quits right on the spot. Even within the heat of that argument we have to respect the feelings and opinions of one another. Instead of bashing each another we have to talk it out and listen to what each party has to say.
When you have that strong foundation of communication I realize that a misunderstanding can easily be discussed and communicated in greater terms. I am not a marriage counselor nor is my marriage perfect, but I do realize this is what has helped my husband and I grow as a couple. We aren’t the eighteen year olds we were when we first began our union, but we are in our thirties and have a better understanding of one another. We have had our share of disagreements but we discuss how we feel and honestly communicate what we are thinking and feeling at that moment in time. We know where each stand on a specific subject and we discuss why we feel a certain way.
I see many relationships lose their spark because of lack of communication. Couples stop discussing how they feel or grow apart from one another. They may not want to cause an argument so they bottle things inside and you just can’t go that route. You have to remember why you married this person in the first place. You married this person and took vows to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer: in sickness and in health; to love, to honor, and to cherish, for all the days of your lives. You married because during some point in your life this person was someone you liked, you loved, a soulmate, and someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Of course, somethings aren’t forever but why not try and work it out by communicating like adults before just throwing in the towel.
As married couples today, we owe it to ourselves, our partners, and our children to communicate. If you don’t have children communication is still important. Of course if it’s a toxic relationship by all means get up and go, you know yourself better than anyone else. Don’t be so quick to call it quits without communicating what the problem is or has been. Remind yourself why you fell in love with your mate and work through those problems to continue to grow and build a stronger bond with the one you so deeply love.