I know it’s unrealistic for our families to live all in one state or country together, but it makes things difficult and often sad when we are all so distant. Jokingly, I tell my husband sometimes, “Had I known our family would have been this distant, I would have moved far away my damn self!” What I mean by this is that I have found that where we live, we are more accessible to others which makes our home where everyone comes to stay. We live close to the airport so when someone comes to visit we are a direct target. When we need someone to help us… well, we can’t count on anyone. We are always counted on ourselves, but the favor is hardly ever reciprocated!
Being so distant from family also places a strain on our children. Our nephew lives in Boston and we hardly ever see him. My boys ADORE the fact that there is another male in the family very close in age to them but we rarely get to visit. In fact, there is another but they don’t get to see him either because he’s in The Dominican Republic. On my side of the family, there are no younger children. My boys always ask for their cousin and want to know when he will be returning to spend that quality family time with them that they really want… and NEED!
I cherish seeing them together because after many years of being with my prima hermana, she moved to Puerto Rico. Every summer we visited Puerto Rico our relationship and bond would pick back up right where we left off. Throughout that time apart, we spoke on the phone and wrote letters as well. This kept our bond even stronger so when we did reunite, it was as if we were never ever apart.
I hope as time goes on, the bond between my boys and my brother-in-law’s children can become stronger. There shouldn’t be that much distance between family of the same generation that is so close. I would love to place an end on the distance, making it matter less, so as they all get older they can count on one another. As they grow up, they can come up with creative ways to become more united and close that gap between the states in which they live. My brother and I are another prime example since, although he lives in Buffalo, we remain in contact quite often and reassure one another that we have each other’s back. This is something that I hope for with my own boys and their distant (and not so distant) family members.
Care to share: Do you have family members in different areas? How do you have your children continue to bond with their relatives?