There are many times we just want to say the first thing that comes to mind but many times as adults we have to truly think about it. The comment can lead to a difficult conversation and is it really worth all of that energy? That positive energy that we have built inside of us? I always think about what makes a conversation difficult and try to make it more positive. A few things that can lead to that “difficult conversation” may be:
- The Topic- can always make someone feel a bit edgy, defensive, and even uncomfortable. Talking to your teens about safe sex and paths not to take can be very difficult. You know how you were when you were younger. You cringed if your mother mentioned “S-E-X”?. Did you really want your parents to get into the graphics and all of the details? To also think that your parents were “doing it” was another gross out session. Maybe you should try approaching the topic in a variety of ways with a lighter approach.
- The Person- is usually an important factor. Let’s face it we don’t discuss everything with everyone unless they are our spouse or best friend. If you want to address a colleague for being rude or unprofessional you know that it can make for a sticky situation. This is the person you must work with on a daily basis so you must choose your words wisely. Do you really want to cause chaos at your place of work? Sometimes you just have to pick and choose your battles, especially with those who just want to win all of the time! Maybe this person isn’t worth your time or energy so you just move right along.
- The Place of the conversation is extremely important. You have heard me say- “There is a time and place for everything”. You should know exactly where to have a conversation with someone. If you know them well enough, you will know if it has to be done privately or if it can take place in an open space-around others. You would not get into a cursing session with another parent right in front of your children-that wouldn’t be mommy like and you would not be setting a proper example for them- now would you?
- The Consequences/The Outcome is usually what we have to live with for the rest of our lives. This has an impact on the way people view and judge you. The consequences and the outcomes can be the loss of a friendship because you ratted on your friend for cheating on his spouse. It can be you speaking with a teacher in regards to how your child feels, and you feeling as if the teacher is behaving weird toward you and your child now that you have addressed your concerns. It’s something you have to prepare yourself mentally for and know that all of these things play an important role on what makes for a difficult conversation and if you really want to touch on it.
What difficult conversations have you had lately?
Even though my teens may say “yes mom, yes mom”, even though they may not be listening at the moment they are going to hear me anyway. But, I do my best not to preach, or speak down to them, I speak to them in a leveled tone so they don’t block me out (hopefully not all the time). I have a son who is 6’3″ and to get his attention, I ask him to sit that way we are at eye level and he knows that I am serious and what I have to say is important.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
I agree with you with NOT preaching or belittling our children.
I like the fact that your son knows when you mean BUSINESS!!
Found you and your blog via LBC – Latina Bloggers Connect. This post caught my attention because I have been talking to someone lately that is a mystery to me why it’s so difficult, or at least just not easy. Lol.
It’s a dating type situation and well I’ve been out of the scene for sometime and just recently like I said above – been talking to someone. The issue is I don’t know what to talk about with this person – what to bring up, etc What is too personal? What is too much? What is too little? Lol.
It’s weird of me to not know what to say as usually I can talk with anyone just fine. Any tips on this? Would love to hear some.
Thanks for swinging on by from LBC–I appreciate you reading and commenting.
I am no relationship expert but here is what has worked for me.
Find some commonalities with this person and try to run from there. Make small talk
maybe on the phone to see what the person’s interest are and I believe once you come
face to face with that person it will make things easier. Try to open the floor to conversation so that things will flow smoother.
Wishing you the best and keep me posted–hope I helped a bit.
All the best,
Thanks for the speedy reply. Maybe it’s possible that I’m finding it hard to talk to this person, because this person is:
A. Into art, I am not
B. Is a mother, I am not
C. Is an attorney, I am not (lol – well this doesn’t really matter much, but wanted to mention it)
D. Is kind of guarded
I call it guarded, because she speaks in very short sentences and doesn’t offer up much in conversation.
So maybe we just are not a good match?