There are many times we just want to say the first thing that comes to mind but many times as adults we have to truly think about it. The comment can lead to a difficult conversation and is it really worth all of that energy? That positive energy that we have built inside of us? I always think about what makes a conversation difficult and try to make it more positive. A few things that can lead to that “difficult conversation” may be:
- The Topic- can always make someone feel a bit edgy, defensive, and even uncomfortable. Talking to your teens about safe sex and paths not to take can be very difficult. You know how you were when you were younger. You cringed if your mother mentioned “S-E-X”?. Did you really want your parents to get into the graphics and all of the details? To also think that your parents were “doing it” was another gross out session. Maybe you should try approaching the topic in a variety of ways with a lighter approach.
- The Person- is usually an important factor. Let’s face it we don’t discuss everything with everyone unless they are our spouse or best friend. If you want to address a colleague for being rude or unprofessional you know that it can make for a sticky situation. This is the person you must work with on a daily basis so you must choose your words wisely. Do you really want to cause chaos at your place of work? Sometimes you just have to pick and choose your battles, especially with those who just want to win all of the time! Maybe this person isn’t worth your time or energy so you just move right along.
- The Place of the conversation is extremely important. You have heard me say- “There is a time and place for everything”. You should know exactly where to have a conversation with someone. If you know them well enough, you will know if it has to be done privately or if it can take place in an open space-around others. You would not get into a cursing session with another parent right in front of your children-that wouldn’t be mommy like and you would not be setting a proper example for them- now would you?
- The Consequences/The Outcome is usually what we have to live with for the rest of our lives. This has an impact on the way people view and judge you. The consequences and the outcomes can be the loss of a friendship because you ratted on your friend for cheating on his spouse. It can be you speaking with a teacher in regards to how your child feels, and you feeling as if the teacher is behaving weird toward you and your child now that you have addressed your concerns. It’s something you have to prepare yourself mentally for and know that all of these things play an important role on what makes for a difficult conversation and if you really want to touch on it.
What difficult conversations have you had lately?